'Surfing' the net

It seems more and more people these days are turning on their computer and surfing the net in an effort to find true love.  The future of Online Dating is extremely popular and it is growing quicker than wildfire, but is it a curse or is it cupids cure?

Being single in this day and age can be a struggle. More and more people seem to be shying away from meeting their potential mate at bars, and longer working hours or busy routines can often play a part in many single lifestyles. Internet dating has now become accepted as a convenient way of meeting like minded people. For the price of a couple of drinks at a bar, you can subscribe for a month to a dating website, and look for lots of people from the comfort of your own home.

A mate of mine Anthony decided to make a real effort to meet Miss Right. He thought Online Dating was a good idea because ‘she’ seemed to be hiding somewhere. He began chatting to Anna and they clicked (literally). There wasn’t any weirdness, and they enjoyed talking about the same sort of things. They met for coffee, began seeing each other, and the rest – as they say – is history.

My friend Megan also decided that Internet Dating was a good way to meet people. Although a bit embarrassed about it at first (refusing to tell anyone how desperate she felt), she soon realised that she had nothing to lose. Unfortunately for Megan it hasn’t been such a positive experience – all the guys she has met have turned out to be secretly married, or have children which they don’t tell her about. It’s a total shame because these people are ruining the chance for Megan, and other people who just want to find someone genuine.

I guess the romantic notion of meeting someone who looks attractive in their photo, and has all the same interests as you do, can seem like a dream come true. Unfortunately many people do use online dating websites as a way of meeting prospects when their current situation isn’t as desirable as it once was.

Whatever happens, whether positive or disappointing, Internet Dating should be taken with a pinch of salt, because what works for some may not work for others – perhaps it should be viewed as an ‘investment for your future’. One thing is for sure however – it makes you realise you’re not alone and there are many other single people out there.

Go well, go shell
Auckland Girl

Three dates, you might be out

Ah yes. The Third Date. Always a cracker.

It’s the date which either locks in the interest for further investigation/dating; or it’s the red flag which sends you hooning out of the carpark in sheer fear.

Truth be told, I’ve come to dislike The Third Date…

I get more nervous about The Third Date than I do on most first dates. My face breaks out in spots, appearing smack bang in the middle of my eyebrows creating some sort of third eye; or right near my mouth, putting my date off ever wanting to kiss me.

In most cases, dating flows like this:

The First Date – a few casual drinks, perhaps a coffee. You mutually decide if there’s any spark, and if you’d like to see the other person again.

The Second Date – Dinner. This allows you to check that the other person doesn’t speak with their mouth full, treats the waiting staff appallingly, nor make you feel ‘bad’ for ordering a dish high in carbs ‘Are you really going to eat all of that?’….

And then comes The Third Date. The Third Date determines if you can still hold a conversation. Good flowing conversation, with humour and no awkward silences.

The Third Date generally becomes the Flirt Date. It becomes the big pash date (or perhaps more depending on how far you’ve advanced, therefore determining whether you should shave your legs).

If you make it past The Third Date you’re usually onto a good thing.

But what has become known as the Third Date curse is when you never see your date again. You may think things went well on your third date. That you both had a good time and that The Fourth Date will arrive with rainbows and happy endings. But no.

Sometimes you never hear from your date again. No text message, no phone call, no email. You’re left wondering what the hell you’ve done wrong. Was it something you said? Was it what you were wearing? Has he been hit by a train or moved countries?

Simply all that it means is that he’s just not that into you. If you don’t hear from him ever again sometimes it can often be a lot easier on the soul, rather than hearing ‘Look, it’s not you it’s me/I just don’t have time for a relationship right now’……

Whatever happens in dating – curse or no curse – take note of this my sweet: Always be yourself because everybody else is already taken.

Auckland Girl

This just isn't working

So you may have recently read my Top 5 Chat Up Lines article. I thought it was time to dish out the flip side of that – Top 5 Breakup Lines. I’m a single gal in my flirty thirties, and I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve had my fair share of them over the years.  Here are some of the most common….

1. It’s not you, it’s me.

2. Look, this just isn’t working.

3. I just don’t have time for a relationship right now. Work’s really busy.

4. I’m getting back with my ex girlfriend or wife.

5. You’re a great catch, but just not the girl for me.

What are some of the break up lines you’ve heard…or which lines have you delivered yourself?

Oh my, you're so funny!

Ah yes, the age old question which can often get you wound up beyond belief…what outfit should I wear on a first date? Furthermore, it’s a blind date – and the thing with blind dates is that you never know exactly what you’re going to get.

Should I dress to impress (first impressions do count), but then again if I put the effort in and he rocks up in his tracky-daks and jandals, then I just know that I’m going to feel like a try-hard.

I remember one time I wore a ‘plunging cleavage’ number on a first date. Bad move. He spent most of the date with his eyes wandering down south and I felt kinda dirty. I wish I’d taken along one of those pashmina shawl things like my mother wears.

Another bad move on a first date is having a bit too much to drink. Naturally meeting someone for the very first time can be somewhat nerve racking, but getting so plastered that you fall over, slur your words or sway a little is not such a classy move.

So I think I’ve decided to keep it simple. Sexy yet classy – and not wear anything too tight so that I can’t breathe or be myself.

But one thing’s for sure – I’m guaranteed to wear my best smile. It is after all what will bring the most success to the date than anything else I choose to wear.

Keep it real
Auckland Girl

How Peculiar

I know that when one takes up the challenge of online dating, there’s going to be a little patience required – but I’ve had a few strange experiences lately which have made me realise what a peculiar world online dating is – and just how small Auckland is….

* I spotted an old university friend who I haven’t laid eyes on since the foggy memory of my 21^st birthday party. Tried to make contact in a friendly ‘nothing romantic intended here, just curious to see how life is treating you’ manner, but alas he didn’t reply.

* An ex popped up like a weed and tried to re-kindle the flame, but no thanks buddy – my name isn’t Elizabeth, remember.

* Was approached by a family friend who I haven’t seen since I was about 16 years old. Just a teeny bit creepy… and as far as I understand he is still married.

*The bloke who I thought I recognised from somewhere and turned out to be my brother’s oldest mate, who I’ve known since I was about 9. A little disturbing also.

* The guy who emailed me with the words ‘Even though I have killed someone, it doesn’t mean I can’t still love someone’. OMG was he emailing me from Jail?!

A lot of the profile names some guys choose are downright crazy too. Seriously fella’s, do you think a great catch will make contact with an email entitled ‘Hello, Sailor’ if your profile name is RandyAndy, KiwiRubberGuy or SwallowMePlease?

Yep, it’s definitely true what they say: ‘If you don’t laugh you’ll cry’.

Have a great weekend!
Auckland Girl

Online Dating: Like a Box of Chocolates

So I’ve been single again for a while now, and know that it’s now time to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start mingling in the single circles again. After all it’s probably best to not wait to strike until the iron is hot – but to make it hot by striking…

One method of ‘getting out there’ is through Online Dating – something I’m experienced with and have done a few times in the past. Who hasn’t these days?

However here’s the thing I’ve come to realise – Internet Dating is a bit like a massive box of chocolates – full of different shapes, sizes, textures and tastes. I don’t know about you but I personally have a hard enough time making a decision over which chocolate to choose sometimes, hoping that I don’t select the one that’s a bit nutty …. and it’s exactly like that with Internet Dating.

In all honesty Online Dating should be approached gingerly. Those with a sensitive heart need to bear in mind that it can be full of game players and appearances are often not what they seem.

When I first logged back onto the Dating website I found it all together a bit overwhelming. There they were – a smorgasbord of men grinning back at me, trying to create an impression amongst the competition in 3 seconds flat. I don’t like judging people based on their looks, so I didn’t know which one to choose…..the guy who looks like a model may be my ‘soul mate’, but I don’t select him because I feel he’s ‘way out of my league’. They guy who looks like a ‘nice boy from the farm’ may be a bit more appealing but would we have anything in common after 3 months?

While I get used to the idea of being online again, (and facing the competitive meet/meat market) I’ve decided to just relax and let it happen. I’m looking forward to getting to know new people and am hoping for the best.

Wish me luck
Auckland Girl

You had me at hello

Pick- up lines. They can be either good or bad, and they can come when we least expect them. But we need them really. Otherwise we’d all be like wild animals, sniffing around appallingly to see if there is any interest (!)

Here are my Top 5 amusing pick up lines – a couple of which I have been – err, shall I say lucky enough to have been on the receiving end….

1. Grab your bag, you’ve pulled.

2. I thought I was the best looking person in the room until I saw you.

3. I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?

4. I couldn’t help but notice your beautiful smile.

5. I like your hair/eyes/top. Wanna shag?

What amusing chat-up lines have you come across ?

Thumbs down

Today is Halloween and I thought it fitting to highlight a few nightmare dating disasters which I have encountered over the past 6 months. Please bear in mind that I bare no grudges and I am merely sharing my experiences – because one either has to laugh or cry…..

* The Scotsman who was spending a few months travelling in New Zealand. On our date he cried, and confessed he had a problem with cocaine addiction.

* The blind date set-up who was so shallow that he decided my thighs were ‘too chunky’ for his liking.

* The guy who wore a colostomy bag due to Crones Disease. He had also ‘accidentally’ received a vasectomy when the surgeon removed his bowel. I was willing to oversee this and work on getting to know him, as he seemed a lovely guy (including strange fact that he was an engineer who made bullets and guns). Unfortunately after the third date he called it quits.

* The bloke with absolutely no sense of humour. As much as I tried, the uncomfortable silences where painful.

* The dude who among other things, had a really scary and violent manner. I think I had a lucky escape with that one!

My married friends tell me that one can’t write this sort of humour, and that they live vicariously through me. As flattering as this is, I am beginning to wonder if I am ever going to catch a break!

‘Till next time, always look on the bright side of life.
Auckland Girl