...life after 35

I’m back kids – sincere apologies for the delay – it’s been a bit of a bumpy ride of late. Here’s what I’ve been witnessing since I last posted….

I had a relationship break up. Horrid, those things and let’s face it, no one really likes rejection. But I’m of the opinion that when one door shuts eventually a better brightly coloured one will open….

While many of my friends gave birth to babies in recent months, I instead had my appendix out. An interesting experience, and full credit to the nurses at Auckland City Hospital.

I’ve seen one of my closest friends go through hell and back fighting her cancer battle. She is an inspiration.

I decided life was for living so quit my regular 9 to 5, and am about to start an exciting new job doing something I’m passionate about.

I undertook a massage course so that I could ‘give back’ to friends and family. From this I have found my niche.

….and I turned 35.

Yep. I didn’t want to make a big deal about getting older – who CARES. I’m still young, I have the world on my plate yada yada yada – but alas who was I kidding, and still found myself having the same ‘guilty’ feelings that I had when I turned 30 (holy crap, I should be married with 2 kids by now, with a good retirement savings plan under way).

When you turn 35 you suddenly realise that you’re rapidly approaching the dreaded Four-O;  and you find yourself ticking a different ‘age bracket’ box, when filling in surveys/competitions/lifestyle polls (that’s a smug slap in the face I tell ya).

But I got a grip and hardened up, as some like to say. So WHAT if I’m still single, so WHAT if I’m nearly 50. I’m fortunate enough to have seen the world over. To have experienced many a lifetime that lots of people could only dream of.  I have the best friends and family a girl could ask for, and whom I adore so much I would marry them if I could (the friends, not the family may I add).

35 is the new 30. A time to kick back and enjoy each day as it comes. This is your life, do what you love. If you don’t like something, change it. If you are looking for the love of your life- stop. They will be waiting for you when you start doing the things you love. Life is short, so live (just get that retirement savings plan under way).

Rock ‘n roll
Auckland Girl

Dance like no one's watching

A few weeks ago I felt a bit overwhelmed with everything so decided to dance like a fool in front of the stereo at home to get rid of some built up steam.

The great escape

So..when was the last time you went to Waiheke Island?

“Ah nah, what’s the big deal with Waiheke” you’re probably thinking. “It’s full of hippies and new age weirdo’s; and the ferry ride is really expensive blah blah blah”. Well my friend let me tell you something. Firstly, stop talking to yourself, and secondly, consider just how much Waiheke has to offer!

For me recently winter had been a long, cruel, cold son of a you-know-what, so a spring escape was calling me, like a nagging house wife moaning at her husband to do the washing up. Cue Waiheke – somewhere where I hadn’t been for over 8 years and made for a perfect getaway.

Once on board the ferry I felt like I was running away from the madness of work, bills and familiar ground-hog-day routines. An adventure if you like, to a mini paradise within Auckland.

Because Waiheke is an island you’re pretty screwed without transport. We decided to take it as it came, so that we could enjoy a bit of booze without worrying about driving. There’s a bus you can catch from the ferry terminal (you need a bit of patience cos like ‘Fiji Time’ the bus service is laid-back and comes along pretty much whenever it feels like it). There are car hire options of course, and a not-so-bad taxi service too.

I was looking forward to wine tasting at one of the many beautiful vineyards located on Waiheke. Casita-Miro was my favourite, with its romantic French/Italian charm. Just gorgeous. Amazing views. Friendly staff. I could go on. The dinner at Mudbrick Vineyard was lovely too and after 8 years since my last visit there, I can confirm that nothing has changed and it’s still as perfect as usual.

So my suggestion Aucklanders: If you’re fed up with the weather and wanna get away without the involvement of a long drawn-out road kiwi road trip (which are indeed awesome but are often full of traffic jams and those annoying little toilet stops in the bush) –  pack your nearest and dearest and a happy attitude and take yourself over to Waiheke.

I had a ball. You won’t regret it.

Here’s to summer
Auckland Girl

Rain. Yawn

I don’t know about you, but I am officially over this Auckland rain. Fact.

We all know that there’s nothing we can do about it, but it’s the topic of much conversation lately – everyone putting in their 10 cents worth: “Can we get any more rain people?!”…..”Oh Melva look: it’s raining again, what a surprise!”…..”Jaysus wept Shane, I wish it would stop blimmin-well raining”.

All this rain is causing much depression, bringing everyone down with its selfish downpour, and it’s enough to make ya wanna pull the curtains and stay in your pyjamas all day long, cursing those smart enough to book a holiday to Fiji.

The only thing getting me through at the moment is that fact that Spring arrives this week. I’m tolerating the constant rain with thoughts of ‘up ya bum, it’s gonna be Summer soon’ and I’m choosing to ignore those who mention that it rains a lot in Auckland during Spring.

Ah yes Spring. I reckon it’s my favourite season of the year. The ‘Yuss Winter is finally over’ season. Where sunshine slowly begins to open its doors, flirting with the idea of a long hot Summer. I can’t wait.

I confess that I’m a natural born romantic and while kissing in the rain is a fun thing to do, Spring loving is another reason for shouting to the roof-tops: ‘Hello Spring, come on in. I thought you’d got lost’. Couples everywhere emerge from being snuggled up on their couch all Winter long, and openly walk hand in hand down the street, arms wrapped around each other, a joyful smugness about them, like kids high on sugar.

Yes, I for one think an escape from Winter is long overdue and I cannot wait to dust off my sunnies and chuck aside the knee-high boots. Bring it on.

Say Hi to your Mum from me
Auckland Girl

'Surfing' the net

It seems more and more people these days are turning on their computer and surfing the net in an effort to find true love.  The future of Online Dating is extremely popular and it is growing quicker than wildfire, but is it a curse or is it cupids cure?

Being single in this day and age can be a struggle. More and more people seem to be shying away from meeting their potential mate at bars, and longer working hours or busy routines can often play a part in many single lifestyles. Internet dating has now become accepted as a convenient way of meeting like minded people. For the price of a couple of drinks at a bar, you can subscribe for a month to a dating website, and look for lots of people from the comfort of your own home.

A mate of mine Anthony decided to make a real effort to meet Miss Right. He thought Online Dating was a good idea because ‘she’ seemed to be hiding somewhere. He began chatting to Anna and they clicked (literally). There wasn’t any weirdness, and they enjoyed talking about the same sort of things. They met for coffee, began seeing each other, and the rest – as they say – is history.

My friend Megan also decided that Internet Dating was a good way to meet people. Although a bit embarrassed about it at first (refusing to tell anyone how desperate she felt), she soon realised that she had nothing to lose. Unfortunately for Megan it hasn’t been such a positive experience – all the guys she has met have turned out to be secretly married, or have children which they don’t tell her about. It’s a total shame because these people are ruining the chance for Megan, and other people who just want to find someone genuine.

I guess the romantic notion of meeting someone who looks attractive in their photo, and has all the same interests as you do, can seem like a dream come true. Unfortunately many people do use online dating websites as a way of meeting prospects when their current situation isn’t as desirable as it once was.

Whatever happens, whether positive or disappointing, Internet Dating should be taken with a pinch of salt, because what works for some may not work for others – perhaps it should be viewed as an ‘investment for your future’. One thing is for sure however – it makes you realise you’re not alone and there are many other single people out there.

Go well, go shell
Auckland Girl

Three dates, you might be out

Ah yes. The Third Date. Always a cracker.

It’s the date which either locks in the interest for further investigation/dating; or it’s the red flag which sends you hooning out of the carpark in sheer fear.

Truth be told, I’ve come to dislike The Third Date…

I get more nervous about The Third Date than I do on most first dates. My face breaks out in spots, appearing smack bang in the middle of my eyebrows creating some sort of third eye; or right near my mouth, putting my date off ever wanting to kiss me.

In most cases, dating flows like this:

The First Date – a few casual drinks, perhaps a coffee. You mutually decide if there’s any spark, and if you’d like to see the other person again.

The Second Date – Dinner. This allows you to check that the other person doesn’t speak with their mouth full, treats the waiting staff appallingly, nor make you feel ‘bad’ for ordering a dish high in carbs ‘Are you really going to eat all of that?’….

And then comes The Third Date. The Third Date determines if you can still hold a conversation. Good flowing conversation, with humour and no awkward silences.

The Third Date generally becomes the Flirt Date. It becomes the big pash date (or perhaps more depending on how far you’ve advanced, therefore determining whether you should shave your legs).

If you make it past The Third Date you’re usually onto a good thing.

But what has become known as the Third Date curse is when you never see your date again. You may think things went well on your third date. That you both had a good time and that The Fourth Date will arrive with rainbows and happy endings. But no.

Sometimes you never hear from your date again. No text message, no phone call, no email. You’re left wondering what the hell you’ve done wrong. Was it something you said? Was it what you were wearing? Has he been hit by a train or moved countries?

Simply all that it means is that he’s just not that into you. If you don’t hear from him ever again sometimes it can often be a lot easier on the soul, rather than hearing ‘Look, it’s not you it’s me/I just don’t have time for a relationship right now’……

Whatever happens in dating – curse or no curse – take note of this my sweet: Always be yourself because everybody else is already taken.

Auckland Girl

Is it really that time?

I don’t know about you, but these recent dark mornings have well and truly thrown me. My alarm goes off, it’s pitch black, and I always feel like someone’s playing a trick on me by resetting the alarm to 2 am. But no, it’s always the correct time yet I pretty much lie there for about 30 minutes thinking of good reasons why I should get up, while the rain pelts down comfortingly on the roof.

Speaking of waking early in the dark, an amusing yet dumb-arsed incident happened to me last Saturday.

My landline phone starting ringing at what seemed like the middle of the night but it was actually 6 am on the dot. I considered ignoring it but being so early in the morning, those panic thoughts started running around my brain: ‘Oh God, someone’s died or been in a car crash’ – so I staggered to the phone to answer it.

“Hello?” I whispered in my early morning husky, concerned voice.
It was my friend calling from London.
“Hi it’s me” she said, “I’ve just sent you an email”
“….that’s great”, I smiled. “But it’s 6 am”
“I know, sorry, I thought you might be up already, you go to the gym a lot” she replied.
She had a point.

She then proceeded to tell me about her email in her fast-kiwi-voice-when-we’re-excited-about-something, for about 4 minutes. “Read the email and call me back this weekend sometime” she said. I muttered a reply which sounded something like “kaythenluffubye” and headed back to bed.

‘Oooh!’ I thought, sounding like Homer Simpson, ‘This would be the perfect time to take your morning iron tablet because you’re supposed to take it 1 hour before breakfast and that never happens’ (I’m such a girl). Unfortunately I wasn’t as clever as I thought I was…..I was so thrown by the surprise wake up call, and the topic of our conversation, that I accidentally took a sleeping tablet instead of the iron tablet.

About 2 seconds after swallowing it, I knew I’d made a huge screw up and considered putting my fingers down my throat to retrieve it, but instead muttered aloud “Oh sod it” and went back to sleep. For about 6 hours.

Was late for lunch with friends but my God, if I don’t say so myself, I looked a-mazing from all that beauty sleep!

Is it only me that these things happen to?

Word to your momma
Auckland Girl

Sing like no one is listening

Last week my workmates and I decided it would be choice fun to organise a Japanese dinner and Karaoke evening. A real ‘let your hair down, toss aside the shame and do some bonding’ night.

I was looking forward to the Karaoke sing along. I’m quite a shy person, but have no shame when a bit of liquor hits my veins, and I was looking forward to busting out the 80s rock classics. Giddy up!

We headed out to Genji in Ponsonby Road, who offer a ‘semi-private room’ and set menu for large groups. What’s funny is that the room isn’t really semi-private – people parking out the back, or picking up their takeaway order walk through the room to get to the main restaurant. Fortunately we all found it quite amusing and sort of went along with the ‘sing like no one is listening’ theory.

What was even more amusing was the video action which sat on the TV screen from which we read/sang our lyrics. Instead of seeing the video clip for the matching song we were singing (or a fake music clip of some kind), we saw strange late 90s images of people on their summer holiday somewhere in Europe. Lying on beach chairs and pulling their lime green togs out of their bum – unaware that they were being filmed and shown on international Karaoke machines. Hil-ar-i-ous!

It was a pretty fun night singing along to the likes of Bon Jovi and Guns ‘n Roses. Naturally I just couldn’t help myself and sang ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ too. It would be rude not to really.

Have yourself a rad weekend
Auckland Girl