...life after 35

I’m back kids – sincere apologies for the delay – it’s been a bit of a bumpy ride of late. Here’s what I’ve been witnessing since I last posted….

I had a relationship break up. Horrid, those things and let’s face it, no one really likes rejection. But I’m of the opinion that when one door shuts eventually a better brightly coloured one will open….

While many of my friends gave birth to babies in recent months, I instead had my appendix out. An interesting experience, and full credit to the nurses at Auckland City Hospital.

I’ve seen one of my closest friends go through hell and back fighting her cancer battle. She is an inspiration.

I decided life was for living so quit my regular 9 to 5, and am about to start an exciting new job doing something I’m passionate about.

I undertook a massage course so that I could ‘give back’ to friends and family. From this I have found my niche.

….and I turned 35.

Yep. I didn’t want to make a big deal about getting older – who CARES. I’m still young, I have the world on my plate yada yada yada – but alas who was I kidding, and still found myself having the same ‘guilty’ feelings that I had when I turned 30 (holy crap, I should be married with 2 kids by now, with a good retirement savings plan under way).

When you turn 35 you suddenly realise that you’re rapidly approaching the dreaded Four-O;  and you find yourself ticking a different ‘age bracket’ box, when filling in surveys/competitions/lifestyle polls (that’s a smug slap in the face I tell ya).

But I got a grip and hardened up, as some like to say. So WHAT if I’m still single, so WHAT if I’m nearly 50. I’m fortunate enough to have seen the world over. To have experienced many a lifetime that lots of people could only dream of.  I have the best friends and family a girl could ask for, and whom I adore so much I would marry them if I could (the friends, not the family may I add).

35 is the new 30. A time to kick back and enjoy each day as it comes. This is your life, do what you love. If you don’t like something, change it. If you are looking for the love of your life- stop. They will be waiting for you when you start doing the things you love. Life is short, so live (just get that retirement savings plan under way).

Rock ‘n roll
Auckland Girl

Dance like no one's watching

A few weeks ago I felt a bit overwhelmed with everything so decided to dance like a fool in front of the stereo at home to get rid of some built up steam.

Rain. Yawn

I don’t know about you, but I am officially over this Auckland rain. Fact.

We all know that there’s nothing we can do about it, but it’s the topic of much conversation lately – everyone putting in their 10 cents worth: “Can we get any more rain people?!”…..”Oh Melva look: it’s raining again, what a surprise!”…..”Jaysus wept Shane, I wish it would stop blimmin-well raining”.

All this rain is causing much depression, bringing everyone down with its selfish downpour, and it’s enough to make ya wanna pull the curtains and stay in your pyjamas all day long, cursing those smart enough to book a holiday to Fiji.

The only thing getting me through at the moment is that fact that Spring arrives this week. I’m tolerating the constant rain with thoughts of ‘up ya bum, it’s gonna be Summer soon’ and I’m choosing to ignore those who mention that it rains a lot in Auckland during Spring.

Ah yes Spring. I reckon it’s my favourite season of the year. The ‘Yuss Winter is finally over’ season. Where sunshine slowly begins to open its doors, flirting with the idea of a long hot Summer. I can’t wait.

I confess that I’m a natural born romantic and while kissing in the rain is a fun thing to do, Spring loving is another reason for shouting to the roof-tops: ‘Hello Spring, come on in. I thought you’d got lost’. Couples everywhere emerge from being snuggled up on their couch all Winter long, and openly walk hand in hand down the street, arms wrapped around each other, a joyful smugness about them, like kids high on sugar.

Yes, I for one think an escape from Winter is long overdue and I cannot wait to dust off my sunnies and chuck aside the knee-high boots. Bring it on.

Say Hi to your Mum from me
Auckland Girl

'Surfing' the net

It seems more and more people these days are turning on their computer and surfing the net in an effort to find true love.  The future of Online Dating is extremely popular and it is growing quicker than wildfire, but is it a curse or is it cupids cure?

Being single in this day and age can be a struggle. More and more people seem to be shying away from meeting their potential mate at bars, and longer working hours or busy routines can often play a part in many single lifestyles. Internet dating has now become accepted as a convenient way of meeting like minded people. For the price of a couple of drinks at a bar, you can subscribe for a month to a dating website, and look for lots of people from the comfort of your own home.

A mate of mine Anthony decided to make a real effort to meet Miss Right. He thought Online Dating was a good idea because ‘she’ seemed to be hiding somewhere. He began chatting to Anna and they clicked (literally). There wasn’t any weirdness, and they enjoyed talking about the same sort of things. They met for coffee, began seeing each other, and the rest – as they say – is history.

My friend Megan also decided that Internet Dating was a good way to meet people. Although a bit embarrassed about it at first (refusing to tell anyone how desperate she felt), she soon realised that she had nothing to lose. Unfortunately for Megan it hasn’t been such a positive experience – all the guys she has met have turned out to be secretly married, or have children which they don’t tell her about. It’s a total shame because these people are ruining the chance for Megan, and other people who just want to find someone genuine.

I guess the romantic notion of meeting someone who looks attractive in their photo, and has all the same interests as you do, can seem like a dream come true. Unfortunately many people do use online dating websites as a way of meeting prospects when their current situation isn’t as desirable as it once was.

Whatever happens, whether positive or disappointing, Internet Dating should be taken with a pinch of salt, because what works for some may not work for others – perhaps it should be viewed as an ‘investment for your future’. One thing is for sure however – it makes you realise you’re not alone and there are many other single people out there.

Go well, go shell
Auckland Girl

Three dates, you might be out

Ah yes. The Third Date. Always a cracker.

It’s the date which either locks in the interest for further investigation/dating; or it’s the red flag which sends you hooning out of the carpark in sheer fear.

Truth be told, I’ve come to dislike The Third Date…

I get more nervous about The Third Date than I do on most first dates. My face breaks out in spots, appearing smack bang in the middle of my eyebrows creating some sort of third eye; or right near my mouth, putting my date off ever wanting to kiss me.

In most cases, dating flows like this:

The First Date – a few casual drinks, perhaps a coffee. You mutually decide if there’s any spark, and if you’d like to see the other person again.

The Second Date – Dinner. This allows you to check that the other person doesn’t speak with their mouth full, treats the waiting staff appallingly, nor make you feel ‘bad’ for ordering a dish high in carbs ‘Are you really going to eat all of that?’….

And then comes The Third Date. The Third Date determines if you can still hold a conversation. Good flowing conversation, with humour and no awkward silences.

The Third Date generally becomes the Flirt Date. It becomes the big pash date (or perhaps more depending on how far you’ve advanced, therefore determining whether you should shave your legs).

If you make it past The Third Date you’re usually onto a good thing.

But what has become known as the Third Date curse is when you never see your date again. You may think things went well on your third date. That you both had a good time and that The Fourth Date will arrive with rainbows and happy endings. But no.

Sometimes you never hear from your date again. No text message, no phone call, no email. You’re left wondering what the hell you’ve done wrong. Was it something you said? Was it what you were wearing? Has he been hit by a train or moved countries?

Simply all that it means is that he’s just not that into you. If you don’t hear from him ever again sometimes it can often be a lot easier on the soul, rather than hearing ‘Look, it’s not you it’s me/I just don’t have time for a relationship right now’……

Whatever happens in dating – curse or no curse – take note of this my sweet: Always be yourself because everybody else is already taken.

Auckland Girl

This just isn't working

So you may have recently read my Top 5 Chat Up Lines article. I thought it was time to dish out the flip side of that – Top 5 Breakup Lines. I’m a single gal in my flirty thirties, and I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve had my fair share of them over the years.  Here are some of the most common….

1. It’s not you, it’s me.

2. Look, this just isn’t working.

3. I just don’t have time for a relationship right now. Work’s really busy.

4. I’m getting back with my ex girlfriend or wife.

5. You’re a great catch, but just not the girl for me.

What are some of the break up lines you’ve heard…or which lines have you delivered yourself?

Oh my, you're so funny!

Ah yes, the age old question which can often get you wound up beyond belief…what outfit should I wear on a first date? Furthermore, it’s a blind date – and the thing with blind dates is that you never know exactly what you’re going to get.

Should I dress to impress (first impressions do count), but then again if I put the effort in and he rocks up in his tracky-daks and jandals, then I just know that I’m going to feel like a try-hard.

I remember one time I wore a ‘plunging cleavage’ number on a first date. Bad move. He spent most of the date with his eyes wandering down south and I felt kinda dirty. I wish I’d taken along one of those pashmina shawl things like my mother wears.

Another bad move on a first date is having a bit too much to drink. Naturally meeting someone for the very first time can be somewhat nerve racking, but getting so plastered that you fall over, slur your words or sway a little is not such a classy move.

So I think I’ve decided to keep it simple. Sexy yet classy – and not wear anything too tight so that I can’t breathe or be myself.

But one thing’s for sure – I’m guaranteed to wear my best smile. It is after all what will bring the most success to the date than anything else I choose to wear.

Keep it real
Auckland Girl

How Peculiar

I know that when one takes up the challenge of online dating, there’s going to be a little patience required – but I’ve had a few strange experiences lately which have made me realise what a peculiar world online dating is – and just how small Auckland is….

* I spotted an old university friend who I haven’t laid eyes on since the foggy memory of my 21^st birthday party. Tried to make contact in a friendly ‘nothing romantic intended here, just curious to see how life is treating you’ manner, but alas he didn’t reply.

* An ex popped up like a weed and tried to re-kindle the flame, but no thanks buddy – my name isn’t Elizabeth, remember.

* Was approached by a family friend who I haven’t seen since I was about 16 years old. Just a teeny bit creepy… and as far as I understand he is still married.

*The bloke who I thought I recognised from somewhere and turned out to be my brother’s oldest mate, who I’ve known since I was about 9. A little disturbing also.

* The guy who emailed me with the words ‘Even though I have killed someone, it doesn’t mean I can’t still love someone’. OMG was he emailing me from Jail?!

A lot of the profile names some guys choose are downright crazy too. Seriously fella’s, do you think a great catch will make contact with an email entitled ‘Hello, Sailor’ if your profile name is RandyAndy, KiwiRubberGuy or SwallowMePlease?

Yep, it’s definitely true what they say: ‘If you don’t laugh you’ll cry’.

Have a great weekend!
Auckland Girl