This just isn't working

So you may have recently read my Top 5 Chat Up Lines article. I thought it was time to dish out the flip side of that – Top 5 Breakup Lines. I’m a single gal in my flirty thirties, and I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve had my fair share of them over the years.  Here are some of the most common….

1. It’s not you, it’s me.

2. Look, this just isn’t working.

3. I just don’t have time for a relationship right now. Work’s really busy.

4. I’m getting back with my ex girlfriend or wife.

5. You’re a great catch, but just not the girl for me.

What are some of the break up lines you’ve heard…or which lines have you delivered yourself?

You're doing my head in

Every now and then we have to suck it up and deal with a situation which has become our personal pet hate…..and every now and then it feels great to have a bit of a (humorous) rant about them too.  Here are my (current) pet hates….

1. No Toilet Paper

This is particularly frustrating for a woman. People please, if you’re the last to use the toilet roll, does it not make sense to replace it or leave a note to advise that there’s none left? So many times I have sat on the loo like a waiting duck calling out in my quiet voice ‘um… is there anybody there?’ to ask them to kindly chuck paper of any kind under the door to me. Going ‘drip dry’ is not particularly pleasant, so please next time practise some karma and leave some behind (as it were).

2. Cold Showers

Cold showers are a beast aren’t they? If you’re the last one in the household, hostel or public camping ground to grab a shower you’re pretty much ‘sh*t out of luck’ as my mother would say, because all the hot/warm/lukewarm/bearable water has been gloriously soaked up and (quite literally) gone down the drain. You’re forced to squirm around awkwardly, the soap doesn’t lather as much and you end up taking the quickest shower in your life, all while forming that ’0′ facial look you get when you jump into a river. I think I’d rather just smell and smile smugly around the people who took all the hot water earlier.

3. Gym Machine Hoggers

OK, so maybe I need to get a grip, but surely I’m not the only one who get’s a little pissed when people at the gym hog the exercise machines for hours. Fair’s fair people – what makes you so special that you can’t share with everyone else. Were you an only child? Did someone die and make you King/Queen? Those ‘Please limit your time to 15minutes during peak hour’ signs are there for a reason so don’t pretend you can’t read nor see others standing there patiently. You can always come back in 15mins. Nuff said.

4. Rude Service

Picture this: I hand over my money for my petrol/milk/lotto ticket etc and the staff member just closes the till and blinks at me or looks at the person behind me in the queue waiting to be served. Sometimes I want to shout ‘Have a lovely day!’ and smile like a fool. I am quite literally paying your wages dude, so why not acknowledge me and say ‘thank you’ or ‘goodbye’ in return. It’s called manners.

5. Non-Disabled Parkers

People get a clue. Disabled parking is there for a reason. Sure it’s super convenient to park there because it’s close to the shops/supermarket/restaurant, especially when it’s raining, but think about it. Number one – you’ll get a ticket because you aren’t correctly displaying a disabled parking sign and number two – a disabled person will come along and will have to park miles away because you took their space when it’s hard for them to get anywhere because their body doesn’t let them operate as easily as yours does. Life is for enjoying so be kind.

I’m sure you have plenty of pet hates yourself? Please feel free to comment below.

Peace out homie
Auckland Girl

Cocktail hour

My lovely friends and I are planning a few cocktails this Friday night. It’s the perfect opportunity to catch up on gossip and to have a bit of a rant – so in honour of this exciting occasion I thought I’d highlight my top favourite cocktails. Woot!

1. Pina Colada

Now that’s what I’m talking about. The creamy pineapple tang mixed with the strong Bacardi and Malibu combination reminds me of long hot summer fun. One of my favourite songs too.


2. Cosmopolitan

The Sex and The City series made this drink a popular number, and it’s still a favourite of mine. Plus all that cranberry juice must be doing something good for your kidneys, right?


3. Feijoa Moscow Mule

I’m not a fan of the feijoa fruit but mix together a blend of Feijoa Vodka, ginger beer, lime and brown sugar and your taste buds will say ‘hello sailor!’ (or ‘Goodnight Nurse’ depending on the situation).


4. Bellini

Classic and chic, a Bellini – Champagne with a dash of peach schnapps – is a simple cocktail which tastes like a million bucks.


5. Margarita

A few people can’t stomach tequila after a few too many nights of innocent fun in their early 20′s, but who doesn’t like a good margarita? The sudden wake up you receive from the bitter salted edge and sour lime taste is also incredibly refreshing – and of course it’s great with corn chips.


What are your favourite cocktails?
Auckland Girl

Baffled

Odd sightings. They are one of life’s little treats, to make you have a bit of a giggle, leave you baffled with a WTF? moment, and best of all make you realise just how normal you actually are. Here are some particularly odd sightings I have come across in the past few months…

1. The woman wearing bright yellow short-shorts at the gym, which were strangely padded and so therefore happened to look like a giant nappy…….

2. The man power walking down a suburban street at around 1.15 AM (I was driving home after a few drinks in town but can assure you I was sober). He was really getting into his power-walk big time – briskly swinging his arms with hand-weights, and swaying hips with a look of pure concentration. Just odd.

3. The man at the supermarket checkout in front of me who purchased nothing but bleach, methylated spirits and a box of matches. Hmmm.

4. The man who doesn’t sway his arms when he walks. He lets them just hang by his side. I see him most days on my walk to work and I often cross the street to avoid him because he freaks me out in a kind of Frankenstein manner.

5. And yesterday, the elderly couple in their (probably) 70s having a deep embrace at the bus stop which I happened to be walking past at around 5.30pm. PDA is seriously getting out of control. Couldn’t help but wonder if their teeth would become loose with all that tongue action? Naasty. I guess romance is still alive.

Seen any odd sightings yourself lately?
Auckland Girl

Hello coffee my dear friend

I admit that I’m often affected by the weather (or should that be effected? I always get that word mixed up).

When the weather’s a little melancholy I adopt a woe is me face and just want to lie on the sofa watching DVDs or pop into a warm and cosy cafe for a long black or chai soy latte, gazing out the window daydreaming.

Here are some of my favourite cafes across Auckland…

1. One 2 One Cafe - My favourite. Has a country vibe about it despite being smack bang on Ponsonby Road. The fat cat who sleeps on the piano sums up the laid back vibe. Good for a quiet catch up with friends, or just hanging out reading the paper. Had a date here once upon a time, and it’s good for that sorta thing too.

2. Takapuna Beach Cafe - A neat place to sit inside, gazing out the window watching the stormy beach weather outside. Nice for a coffee and cake treat after a walk along the beach too.

3. Bambina – Yes Bambina translates to little one, but good things come in small packages and this small cafe is no exception. Warm and friendly it’s perfect for hiding away and the aroma of coffee fills the small room deliciously. My only gripe is women with large prams as they practically take up all the floorspace.

4. Verona – When I saw you in Verona, you sat down, I moved over – yes that kiwi song is about this very cool cafe in K-Road. It’s great for a bite to eat or a coffee with your mates with heaps of nice treats on the menu. Best of all I like how they’re open till late, which is choice for a night cap after a few wines in town.

5. Theobroma Chocolate Lounge – Technically not a coffee cafe as such, but I love this place if I’m shopping and need a hit. It’s definitely for choc-o-holics but they serve coffee and tea too. The chocolate chilli shot is divine (warm, melted chocolate and chilli inside a shot glass, now that’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout) – don’t die without trying it.

Your thoughts on Auckland’s best cafes?

You had me at hello

Pick- up lines. They can be either good or bad, and they can come when we least expect them. But we need them really. Otherwise we’d all be like wild animals, sniffing around appallingly to see if there is any interest (!)

Here are my Top 5 amusing pick up lines – a couple of which I have been – err, shall I say lucky enough to have been on the receiving end….

1. Grab your bag, you’ve pulled.

2. I thought I was the best looking person in the room until I saw you.

3. I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?

4. I couldn’t help but notice your beautiful smile.

5. I like your hair/eyes/top. Wanna shag?

What amusing chat-up lines have you come across ?

A meal with friends

Ok, so I admit it. I don’t go out to dinner as often as I probably could. The majority of my friends are coupled up and like to spend time dining with their significant other, which is perfectly understandable. For me, going out to dinner is often replaced with a quick bite to eat at home (to line the stomach before hitting a few bars), or a dinner party at said couples homes before sharing a cab into town….. However – for the odd girls night out, family celebration, or hot date, the following Auckland restaurants have caught my attention.

1. Sawadee’s
I’m a sucker for Thai food and Sawadee  is one of my favourites. I’ve recommended Sawadee to so many people that I ought to have shares in the place.

2. La Zeppa
I am also very fond of Tapas, and La Zeppa manages to put on a good spread as well as providing a charming ambience. A great girls night out.

3. Prego
I have a love of all things Italian, and Prego in Ponsonby is very Italian. Gorgeous authentic meals which never fail to impress, and I secretly enjoy how it’s a wee bit posh too.

4. Gina’s Pizza & Pasta
Again, this choice little gem of a restaurant is a great Italian number. I have fond memories of superb italian meals coupled with laughter and good times (and flirty Italian staff too).

5. The French Cafe
Ok, so I haven’t actually dined here yet, but I’ve heard so much about this place that I’m willing to add it to my Top 5 list. Call me a saddo, buy screw it. I’m hoping to visit TFC some time in the near future, and shall report back to confirm if it can remain on my list.

Ah but enough about me, what are your favourite Auckland restaurants?

Cocktail Hour

I have many many favourite Auckland bars. If I had to choose which bars I would save from burning down to the ground I would rescue the following….in no apparent order…..

1. Whiskey Bar – It’s small, intimate, comfy, and just damn-well plain cool.

2. Ponsonby Social Club – I always feel at home there. 

3. Lenin Bar – Some people hate it, I happen to like it. The interior is cool and I think I like the Russian feel.

4. Racket Bar – My new favourite. The decor appears like it’s been thrown together in 30mins but it works – laid back, quirky and comforting. Good outdoor area too.

5. Chapel Bar - I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I just always have a positive experience when I go there. Good memories. Good times. Good bar.

Your thoughts?