Dance like no one's watching

A few weeks ago I felt a bit overwhelmed with everything so decided to dance like a fool in front of the stereo at home to get rid of some built up steam.

Is it really that time?

I don’t know about you, but these recent dark mornings have well and truly thrown me. My alarm goes off, it’s pitch black, and I always feel like someone’s playing a trick on me by resetting the alarm to 2 am. But no, it’s always the correct time yet I pretty much lie there for about 30 minutes thinking of good reasons why I should get up, while the rain pelts down comfortingly on the roof.

Speaking of waking early in the dark, an amusing yet dumb-arsed incident happened to me last Saturday.

My landline phone starting ringing at what seemed like the middle of the night but it was actually 6 am on the dot. I considered ignoring it but being so early in the morning, those panic thoughts started running around my brain: ‘Oh God, someone’s died or been in a car crash’ – so I staggered to the phone to answer it.

“Hello?” I whispered in my early morning husky, concerned voice.
It was my friend calling from London.
“Hi it’s me” she said, “I’ve just sent you an email”
“….that’s great”, I smiled. “But it’s 6 am”
“I know, sorry, I thought you might be up already, you go to the gym a lot” she replied.
She had a point.

She then proceeded to tell me about her email in her fast-kiwi-voice-when-we’re-excited-about-something, for about 4 minutes. “Read the email and call me back this weekend sometime” she said. I muttered a reply which sounded something like “kaythenluffubye” and headed back to bed.

‘Oooh!’ I thought, sounding like Homer Simpson, ‘This would be the perfect time to take your morning iron tablet because you’re supposed to take it 1 hour before breakfast and that never happens’ (I’m such a girl). Unfortunately I wasn’t as clever as I thought I was…..I was so thrown by the surprise wake up call, and the topic of our conversation, that I accidentally took a sleeping tablet instead of the iron tablet.

About 2 seconds after swallowing it, I knew I’d made a huge screw up and considered putting my fingers down my throat to retrieve it, but instead muttered aloud “Oh sod it” and went back to sleep. For about 6 hours.

Was late for lunch with friends but my God, if I don’t say so myself, I looked a-mazing from all that beauty sleep!

Is it only me that these things happen to?

Word to your momma
Auckland Girl

Sing like no one is listening

Last week my workmates and I decided it would be choice fun to organise a Japanese dinner and Karaoke evening. A real ‘let your hair down, toss aside the shame and do some bonding’ night.

I was looking forward to the Karaoke sing along. I’m quite a shy person, but have no shame when a bit of liquor hits my veins, and I was looking forward to busting out the 80s rock classics. Giddy up!

We headed out to Genji in Ponsonby Road, who offer a ‘semi-private room’ and set menu for large groups. What’s funny is that the room isn’t really semi-private – people parking out the back, or picking up their takeaway order walk through the room to get to the main restaurant. Fortunately we all found it quite amusing and sort of went along with the ‘sing like no one is listening’ theory.

What was even more amusing was the video action which sat on the TV screen from which we read/sang our lyrics. Instead of seeing the video clip for the matching song we were singing (or a fake music clip of some kind), we saw strange late 90s images of people on their summer holiday somewhere in Europe. Lying on beach chairs and pulling their lime green togs out of their bum – unaware that they were being filmed and shown on international Karaoke machines. Hil-ar-i-ous!

It was a pretty fun night singing along to the likes of Bon Jovi and Guns ‘n Roses. Naturally I just couldn’t help myself and sang ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ too. It would be rude not to really.

Have yourself a rad weekend
Auckland Girl

Oh my, you're so funny!

Ah yes, the age old question which can often get you wound up beyond belief…what outfit should I wear on a first date? Furthermore, it’s a blind date – and the thing with blind dates is that you never know exactly what you’re going to get.

Should I dress to impress (first impressions do count), but then again if I put the effort in and he rocks up in his tracky-daks and jandals, then I just know that I’m going to feel like a try-hard.

I remember one time I wore a ‘plunging cleavage’ number on a first date. Bad move. He spent most of the date with his eyes wandering down south and I felt kinda dirty. I wish I’d taken along one of those pashmina shawl things like my mother wears.

Another bad move on a first date is having a bit too much to drink. Naturally meeting someone for the very first time can be somewhat nerve racking, but getting so plastered that you fall over, slur your words or sway a little is not such a classy move.

So I think I’ve decided to keep it simple. Sexy yet classy – and not wear anything too tight so that I can’t breathe or be myself.

But one thing’s for sure – I’m guaranteed to wear my best smile. It is after all what will bring the most success to the date than anything else I choose to wear.

Keep it real
Auckland Girl

How Peculiar

I know that when one takes up the challenge of online dating, there’s going to be a little patience required – but I’ve had a few strange experiences lately which have made me realise what a peculiar world online dating is – and just how small Auckland is….

* I spotted an old university friend who I haven’t laid eyes on since the foggy memory of my 21^st birthday party. Tried to make contact in a friendly ‘nothing romantic intended here, just curious to see how life is treating you’ manner, but alas he didn’t reply.

* An ex popped up like a weed and tried to re-kindle the flame, but no thanks buddy – my name isn’t Elizabeth, remember.

* Was approached by a family friend who I haven’t seen since I was about 16 years old. Just a teeny bit creepy… and as far as I understand he is still married.

*The bloke who I thought I recognised from somewhere and turned out to be my brother’s oldest mate, who I’ve known since I was about 9. A little disturbing also.

* The guy who emailed me with the words ‘Even though I have killed someone, it doesn’t mean I can’t still love someone’. OMG was he emailing me from Jail?!

A lot of the profile names some guys choose are downright crazy too. Seriously fella’s, do you think a great catch will make contact with an email entitled ‘Hello, Sailor’ if your profile name is RandyAndy, KiwiRubberGuy or SwallowMePlease?

Yep, it’s definitely true what they say: ‘If you don’t laugh you’ll cry’.

Have a great weekend!
Auckland Girl

Shapeshifter

I’ve been meaning to tell you about my brilliant night out when I saw Shapeshifter live at The Powerstation. Shapeshifter are my current favourite band, I never tire of their music, so seeing them live on stage was enough to cause as much excitement as a 4 year old seeing The Wiggles Live in Concert…..yep, I could’a peed my pants.

Speaking of kids, the concert was – as the kids say these days – MEAN! And I’m talking awesome, cool, wicked – phat even. The Powerstation has recently been refurbished and as we stood upstairs centre stage it almost felt as if they were Shifting Shapes directly to us. I danced like a prime fool but loved every minute of it.

We then headed into town for a few drinks and further dancing.

Namely Chapel and Whiskey Bar on Ponsonby Road, a favourite haunt for girls nights out.

My beautiful friend was busy chatting up a fella so I chose to dance with his mate mostly because I felt sorry for him as he was getting down with his bad self all on his own. Just platonic like, you understand – I’m a nice girl I am

A great night followed by the mantatory 3am crap-but-brilliant-tasting-cos-bit pissed-burger-and chips from the open all night chippy. Solid gold

Hope all’s good in your hood
Auckland Girl

You're doing my head in

Every now and then we have to suck it up and deal with a situation which has become our personal pet hate…..and every now and then it feels great to have a bit of a (humorous) rant about them too.  Here are my (current) pet hates….

1. No Toilet Paper

This is particularly frustrating for a woman. People please, if you’re the last to use the toilet roll, does it not make sense to replace it or leave a note to advise that there’s none left? So many times I have sat on the loo like a waiting duck calling out in my quiet voice ‘um… is there anybody there?’ to ask them to kindly chuck paper of any kind under the door to me. Going ‘drip dry’ is not particularly pleasant, so please next time practise some karma and leave some behind (as it were).

2. Cold Showers

Cold showers are a beast aren’t they? If you’re the last one in the household, hostel or public camping ground to grab a shower you’re pretty much ‘sh*t out of luck’ as my mother would say, because all the hot/warm/lukewarm/bearable water has been gloriously soaked up and (quite literally) gone down the drain. You’re forced to squirm around awkwardly, the soap doesn’t lather as much and you end up taking the quickest shower in your life, all while forming that ’0′ facial look you get when you jump into a river. I think I’d rather just smell and smile smugly around the people who took all the hot water earlier.

3. Gym Machine Hoggers

OK, so maybe I need to get a grip, but surely I’m not the only one who get’s a little pissed when people at the gym hog the exercise machines for hours. Fair’s fair people – what makes you so special that you can’t share with everyone else. Were you an only child? Did someone die and make you King/Queen? Those ‘Please limit your time to 15minutes during peak hour’ signs are there for a reason so don’t pretend you can’t read nor see others standing there patiently. You can always come back in 15mins. Nuff said.

4. Rude Service

Picture this: I hand over my money for my petrol/milk/lotto ticket etc and the staff member just closes the till and blinks at me or looks at the person behind me in the queue waiting to be served. Sometimes I want to shout ‘Have a lovely day!’ and smile like a fool. I am quite literally paying your wages dude, so why not acknowledge me and say ‘thank you’ or ‘goodbye’ in return. It’s called manners.

5. Non-Disabled Parkers

People get a clue. Disabled parking is there for a reason. Sure it’s super convenient to park there because it’s close to the shops/supermarket/restaurant, especially when it’s raining, but think about it. Number one – you’ll get a ticket because you aren’t correctly displaying a disabled parking sign and number two – a disabled person will come along and will have to park miles away because you took their space when it’s hard for them to get anywhere because their body doesn’t let them operate as easily as yours does. Life is for enjoying so be kind.

I’m sure you have plenty of pet hates yourself? Please feel free to comment below.

Peace out homie
Auckland Girl

Sick In The City

Oh man! Why is it that every time you quickly pop out to the dairy, dressed in your tracky-dacks, bags under your eyes, no makeup and haven’t washed your hair for two days, you happen to bump into someone who you haven’t seen for over 10 years?!  Why is it that that person looks amazing while you curse silently to yourself and wish you were wearing your darkest shades, possibly even a wig?

This happened to me today. I’ve been sick for 4 days – housebound, bed ridden and had innocently dashed out quick as a fox (my Nana’s words of ‘Don’t get a chill’ echoing in my head) – to feed my bronchitis/cold with the purchase of more panadol, when low and behold there is Miss High School Smarty Pants looking glamorous and beautiful purchasing her bottle of low fat milk. I avoided all eye contact and hope that she didn’t recognise me. I wanted to shout: ‘I don’t normally look like this. Yeah nah, I’m normally pretty tidy me. Yep. Stylish sometimes too’. Instead I coughed and sneezed at the same time, which wasn’t the best move. Argh sods law.

I don’t know about you, but I go a little stir crazy when home for days on end. I’ve slept, made hot lemon drinks, drank litres of orange juice and caught up on ‘Home and Away’. I’ve seen so many adverts for ‘Zumba’ that I cannot wait to get back to the office…

Last weekend a few of us decided to take a day trip to Muriwai. It had been years since I’d laid eyes on the place and I’d forgotten how 45 minutes is all it takes to land you in the peaceful countryside with wild waves and hot black sand which sparkles a shade of purple.  People who live out that way have got it good, and maybe that’s why the Gannets have set up camp there.

I also popped into local neighbourhood bar The Bramble in Onehunga. It’s Onehunga’s best kept secret I reckon (my friends even asked me not to write about it). It’s a delicious small cocktail bar with a beautiful decor and over 2 pages of cocktails on the menu. It’s the type of bar with friendly chatty staff who make you feel at home and it doesn’t matter what you wear either (maybe I should rock up in my tracky-dacks).

Have yourself an ace weekend!
Auckland Girl